Yesterday I walked in my front door and thought, “I am kicking life’s ass lately.” It feels so good to feel on top of my game. Since school has started (which hasn’t been long.) I have been busting my ass in the gym, running and in school.
Before school started back up I was so stressed out and bummed that I had to go back and I wasn’t going to have very much time to myself anymore… Yesterday I had a realization that this is what I am good at, I NEED the structure and insanity in order to feel good. I thrive when I am running 1,000 mph. Recently I have been especially hard on myself, telling myself how much weight I’ve gained (4 pounds) and how soft I was feeling and just had absolutely no confidence. I even ended up picking a fight with David because of this insecurity!
Why are women conditioned to beat themselves up when they gain a little weight or when we see a woman that looks incredible why do we feel that we must compare!? I am guilty of this every. single. day. But, yesterday when I thought about everything I have been doing and how happy/good I felt I noticed myself smiling which hasn’t happened much lately.
It feels so good to feel good about myself again, and feel like I am getting where I want to!!!! I set a few goals for myself at the start of summer, and didn’t make progress towards any of them! I ended up gaining a little weight, not saving as much as I wanted and ended up grumpy, irritable and unhappy. I had a harsh talkin’ with myself and had to just level up, I had only gained 4 pounds and I had saved every penny I could. I didn’t need to be so mean to myself!! It is so easy to talk about this now, after things are getting better but in the midst of all the self diminish and talking down you can’t know how to get out of it until you’ve successful got out.
Be kind to yourselves.